I think we all wish we could go back and teach our younger self some life lessons - why were we so young and naive?! At 21, I know I still have a lot to learn (Young, dumb and broke anyone?) but I'm more knowledgeable in hindsight. Now I'm by no means grown up, I still struggle at adulting everyday but being a teenager could sometimes feel even more difficult than adulting.
One year that definitely stood out for me was 2010, my first year of high school and the year I turned 13. Being 13 was undoubtedly my most difficult year growing up. Teenage hormones are so real. If I could go back to that awkward, confusing time, this is what I would tell my 13 year old self.
A LETTER TO MY 13 YEAR OLD SELF
Dear Asha,
Well you've made it to high school, I know how disappointed you are that it's nothing like it looked in Hannah Montana or High School Musical. Unfortunately in these 5 years, Zac Efron isn't going to fall in love with you (And neither is Justin Bieber so PLEASE get rid of that bieberasha@yahoo.com email address because it will come back to haunt you every time you try to log onto Facebook).
On that note, you my dear self, have no idea what being in love really is. And let me just give you a hint, it's not like what you've seen in those Disney movies you (secretly) still love. All the guys you date this year, and pretty much all throughout high school, are not worth the time or the tears.
I know you're looking at the mirror wondering why you can't be a bit thinner, have acne-free skin or flowy straight hair. I know you're trying everything to fix those "problems" you have when you really should be loving your slightly chubby, imperfect skin, curly haired self. What makes those girls in school seem so pretty is that they have the level of confidence you should have.
That time your Arts and Culture teacher in primary school called you "Painfully shy" you keep etched in your brain. You wish you didn't struggle so much with social interactions, and you wish that for once someone wouldn't use the words "shy" or "quiet" or "introvert" to describe you. It doesn't make sense to you how some people can so easily make friends while you sit alone at lunch break and have to try so hard to have a decent social interaction.
Don't worry about that girl that called you a b*tch or those "looks" those girls gave you. Don't overthink those guys you wasted precious time with actually imagining a future with (Eww). Don't worry about those times you got bad marks, mom and dad were definitely not disappointed in you. Don't worry about that little world that you're living in because I promise you it will get better.
Soon when you tell people you were so shy and quiet they'll be like "Dude, why you lying?". Trust me, you're actually gonna be the social one in your friend groups (And on that note your friends will be #squadgoals). You'll meet people you actually have things in common with, people who will inspire you, and not just classmates you're friends with out of convenience. One day you'll get over those insecurities about your body and learn to embrace yourself love handles and all (except the bad skin, because your makeup is always on point, girl).
Soon you're going to get a newly found confidence, the kind of confidence that comes from deep within. You're going to find out how strong and independent you are, and that's what so many people will know you for.
Baby girl, there's gonna be downs for sure, but you're gonna learn so much from those moments. You're gonna go on adventures and have the most mind blowing experiences. You're gonna meet people that expand your horizons and help you grow more than you ever thought you could. You will end up meeting some decent guys eventually (Actually scratch that, most guys will still suck). You're gonna finish the schooling chapter of your life on a high note and end up studying something you love (eventually, but that's a whole other story!).
You're going to laugh without fear of the future, and have hope and excitement gleaming in your eyes.
Asha, it does get better!
Sincerely,
Asha
(The 21 year old me)
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And by stupid I mean sexist, racist and homophobic; the worst kind of stupid there is.
You know that guy that always remarks that you'll never get a boyfriend because you're too much of a feminist? Or those church friends that show disgust when they see two guys arm in arm? Even those times you were right in the middle of events that show the underlying institutional racism that we have eluded (or tried to, at least) all these years (*hint*, Shimla Park)?
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